Parenting Time FAQs
Q. My parenting time order states I have “reasonable parenting time.” What does this mean?
- Request mediation.
- File a Motion to Change Parenting Time requesting a specific schedule.
- Hire an attorney to file a Motion on your behalf.
Q. How do I change my parenting time order?
A. Once a parenting time order has been entered (signed by the judge and filed with the county clerk's office) the order may be changed through agreement of the parties (consent order) or by filing a motion to change parenting time.
Q. Can I deny parenting time because the other parent is not making regular child support payments?
A. No. Parenting time and support are separate orders of the court. You must continue to obey the parenting time provisions of the order. You may request the FOC to enforce the child support provisions contained in the order.
Q. The other party is not following the parenting time order. What can I do?
A. File a written complaint with the FOC office. If the FOC determines that either parent has violated the parenting time order, enforcement measures may be initiated.
Q. The other parent is not sending or returning the child's clothing/personal items. Is there anything the FOC can do?
A. The FOC follows the written orders of the court. Unless your court order states each parent’s responsibility for clothing, the FOC does not have any enforcement power.
Q. Do I have to let my children go for parenting time if it appears that the other parent has been drinking or using drugs?
A. That is your decision. If you make the decision to deny parenting time in these circumstances, you may be required to explain to the court at a contempt hearing why you felt your decision was in the best interest of the children. Be prepared to present evidence to support your allegation.
Q. The other parent discusses changes to the court order with the child. What can the FOC do?
A. Unless your court order specifically forbids such discussions, the FOC has no enforcement power.
Q. Does the FOC have a responsibility to investigate alleged abuse and/or neglect of a child?
A. No. If you suspect neglect or abuse of a child, call Child Protective Services at 855-444-3911 any time day or night. This toll-free phone number allows you to report abuse or neglect of any child.
Q. I have a parenting time order, and my teenage child does not want to come for parenting time. What can I do?
A. Parents must follow all court orders and must effectively parent their children to ensure that all court orders are followed. If you are denied your parenting time, you may file a written parenting time complaint with the FOC and request enforcement of your parenting time order.
Q. My child fusses and cries when the other parent begins their parenting time (or when my parenting time comes to an end). What should I do?
A. A certain amount of fussing should be expected when a child goes from one parent's care to the other's. All children have some stress and growth pain, even if their parents are still together and getting along. Do not jump to conclusions. This does not necessarily mean there are problems with the other parent. All exchanges should be as swift and smooth as possible (no long goodbyes.) Keep your mood upbeat and positive.
Q. The other parent makes plans for our child (medical appointments, extracurricular or social events) during my parenting time. Is there anything I can do?
A. Neither parent is allowed to schedule appointments or events for the child during the other parent’s time without the express permission and agreement of the other parent. Each parent should facilitate the child’s attendance and participation in school-related obligations, and other activities the child is involved with, through the mutual agreement and permission of both parents. However, extra-curricular activities do not trump parenting time.
Q. Should I call the police to help me get my child for my parenting time?
A. No. The only time the police should be called is if the child, or one of the parents, is in imminent danger. Calling the police for a parenting time disagreement can be traumatic for your child. In addition, police officers do not have the ability to know if a custody or parenting time order is the most recent order, or if it has been changed. In all non-violent situations, parents should make every effort to settle the dispute themselves, outside of the presence of their child. While you work out problems with the other parent, reduce your child’s exposure to your tension and conflict as much as possible. However, if a situation involves violence, the police should be notified immediately.
Q. The other parent has not exercised their parenting time in a long time. Now they want to exercise it. What should I do?
A. Until the parenting time order is changed, you are required to follow the current order. Try to work with the other parent to slowly reintroduce parenting time if there has been a long lapse. If the other parent does not agree, and you want to change the current parenting time order, you will need to file a motion. If you want faster action, you may wish to contact an attorney for legal advice or seek assistance from legal aid.
Q. I do not know where the other parent will be taking our child for parenting time (I do not have a phone number to reach the other parent in case of an emergency). Do I have to let my child go for parenting time?
A. Each parent should provide the other parent with a residential address and an emergency phone number (unless prohibited by court order). However, what each parent chooses to do with the child on his or her parenting time is not subject to the other parent's oversight unless your court order states otherwise.
Q. I have a question about parenting time that I need answered before the other parent gets our child. Can I keep my child until I get an answer?
A. Unless your child is in serious danger to life or health, you must follow the court order and provide the child to the other parent as ordered. If you want to change the current parenting time order, you will need to file a motion. If you suspect neglect or abuse of a child, call Child Protective Services at 855-444-3911 any time day or night. This toll-free phone number allows you to report abuse or neglect of any child.
Q. I want to take the child on a trip, but it is the other parent’s weekend. What can I do?
A. Parents are encouraged to follow a regular parenting time schedule pursuant to the provisions of the order. If the regular schedule cannot be followed because of extraordinary circumstances, you and the other parent may agree to alter or go outside, the court-ordered parenting time. If you cannot agree to a change in the schedule, then you must abide by the current court order. Please note that any written or verbal agreements made between the parties that go outside the court order are unenforceable by the FOC.
Q. The other parent will not let me telephone my child. What can Friend of Court do?
A. The FOC can only enforce the written orders of the court. If your court order does not provide for telephone calls, try to negotiate an agreement with the other parent. You may also file a motion asking the court to modify the order to require that you be allowed to telephone your children.
Q. My child told me that the other parent yelled at him or was mean or doesn't spend time with him and my child does not want to go back. Do I have to send him?
A. Yes. The court order regarding parenting time must be followed. The custodial parent is responsible for ensuring the child follows the court ordered parenting time and risks being in contempt of court if the order is disobeyed.
Q. The other parent refuses to see our child. What can I do?
A. The Friend of the Court cannot force a parent to see his or her child. To promote a positive relationship between the child and the other parent, you may wish to consider counseling, mediation, or filing a motion to change the parenting time order.